she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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