And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
