Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize