he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
