Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am midnight drunk by noon
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
