I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
