I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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