I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
