Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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