Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
