I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
