i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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