New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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