i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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