Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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