On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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