butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
