FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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