oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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