My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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