STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I got inside last night via doggy door
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
