Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
