Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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