Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
