I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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