Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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