these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
