whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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