weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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