I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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