He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
