He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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