its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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