Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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