she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
