He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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