I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
