Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
