He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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