You really coming over, don't trick.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
