dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
