how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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