a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
