maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
