I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
