i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
soo... how was my night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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