yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
