I puked a lego.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
