Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
