you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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