Kiss
Puke
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
