I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
