When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
