It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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