She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
