Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
