Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
