There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
