I'm gonna have a badass scar
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
