Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
