Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
