I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize