Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
